“Nothing, according to the research, predicts excellence like finding the task fun.” — Alfie Kohn, sociologist
By Ken Reed
I was at a 6th grade girls basketball game last weekend. I saw a lot of adults yelling and screaming at both referees and 11-and-12-year-old kids. Let’s just say a lot of what I saw and heard wasn’t positive.
Virtually every youth sports league is plagued by adults who are pathologically focused on winning. Yes, the majority of parents and coaches keep youth sports in perspective but it only takes a few crazy adults to ruin the sports experience for a bunch of kids.
Of course, the issue of overbearing parents and coaches in youth sports isn’t a new one. However, things are getting worse. For example, the number of incidents of physical violence and verbal abuse at youth sporting events has increased significantly in recent years. According to the National Alliance for Youth Sports, more and more youth sports events involve a confrontation between parents, between parents and officials, between parents and coaches, or between coaches and officials. The National Association of Sports Officials says the primary reason game officials give up the job is poor sportsmanship by parents.
Nearly three out of four kids quits competitive sports by the time they are 13 years old. The reason most often cited is that it’s no longer fun. The primary reason they say it’s not fun anymore is over-the-top coaches and parents.
Today, by the time a lot of kids reach the age of 12 they’ve been involved in some type of adult-organized youth sport for six or seven years. They’ve witnessed numerous incidents of “grown-ups” yelling at players, officials and coaches. They’ve probably experienced several grueling post-game critiques of their play by Coach or Mom or Dad. They’ve survived many seasons of adults screaming at them to “stay in position,” “get back on defense,” and “be more aggressive.” More and more kids – some as young as eight years old — are now being encouraged (read: forced — in some cases) to specialize in a single sport by “well-meaning” adults.
Coaches are supposed to be like teachers. But they too often are like drill sergeants. For some reason, our culture glorifies jerks like Bobby Knight and Vince Lombardi. As such, we have parent coaches all over our youth sports system berating kids in the mode of General Patton. As a whole, our society believes good coaches have to “kick some tail” in order to be successful. What total nonsense! Kids shouldn’t have to endure boot camp in order to play the sport they love.
For too many kids, what began as fun is now a pressure-filled exercise.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with adult-organized youth sports. They can be the source of wonderful, healthy and happy experiences for children – if adults can balance their desire to win, with the holistic development of kids, and having fun. Striving to win isn’t the problem; it’s the win-at-all-costs mentality – and the actions it spawns – that is the problem.
When it comes to youth sports in this country, let’s all relax, and let our kids relax, so they can get back to having fun.
— Ken Reed, Sports Policy Director, League of Fans
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